Since I've been getting a lot of mail and taken part in a lot of last-minute conversations about homeschooling crises of purpose, conscience, curriculum, and courage, I thought I would pull some of the questions out of the email closet and air them out here. Maybe you will see your question in the mix.
Next time I will talk about writing and a little about schooling high schoolers. But today we can talk about taking the plunge, whether you can do it, whether it's worth it, whether your parents and his parents will verbally disapprove or simply collapse in disappointed sobs, and whether you will succeed.
Keep in mind that these are actual answers to readers (although the questions are severely condensed), so this post might not be super linear. Also, if I am ever going to post about homeschooling, I need to just do it without worrying too much about repeating myself! If you need even more repetition, look at past posts.
{Disclaimer. I am not actually against school. I think school is a wonderful idea. I believe in neighborhood-controlled schools and schools run by consecrated religious, which supposes neighborhoods and churches with intact families (rich or poor) who care more about their children than about what people in other neighborhoods are doing, or what the government can do for them. This idea is an idea of the past, when children from all sorts of neighborhoods and parishes got educated, usually on very little money. Therefore you might call me a conflicted advocate of homeschooling.}
From M--: Why do you homeschool? I think that our local parish school really needs us to support them, but I love the idea of homeschooling. And at what point in the parent-child relationship should the parent say "We just don't work well together"? (Not that we are there, but I do worry about the future).
Dear M--! To reduce your question to its very minimal level, I would say that you shouldn't worry about the far future too much. I think it's useful to think one year at a time -- to do what seems right and fitting for the coming year.
Sometimes it's helpful to have your children go a bit far afield and test the waters, as you do as well; find your place in the community; get your "sea legs" under you as you figure out how to navigate your family. Especially an outgoing, pert child can benefit from rubbing shoulders with others.
I am by no means anti-school. If school kept its proper sphere, adhered to a proper understanding of authority, and didn't intrude into my children's inner lives, then it would be such a boon to the family. School as it was when I was very young was a net help to families. It's now universally too invasive.
If somehow you are in a place where this isn't so, then school might work for you. But you have to know for real. That takes time to really find out, and often you can only find out from the inside.
Sometimes you just know that even if it would be helpful to some in the community for you to send your children to their school, it isn't what your children need; and your first priority is their education. You have a radiating circle of people you are beholden too, and sometimes even valid concern for others gets in the way of what you should really do for those nearest and dearest.
These things are to be prayed about and talked about together, husband and wife.
You should feel free to do what you want to do for the good of your whole family -- it's easier if you are just deciding for a year, not their whole lives :) You can reserve the right to change your mind! At any time....
From Kari: My four-year-old is bright -- school seems boring to her -- she loves doing tasks for me but doesn't easily move on when I tell her to -- and what to do with the three-year-old?
It's very important that you not see her activity as slow. A child under the age of reason doesn't have the ability to see time in units. When she "washes dishes" she isn't accomplishing a task -- there is no end in sight! She happens to enjoy the process. Unbeknownst to you, she is thinking and wondering and lots is going on in there.
A stellar reason to have very young children at home is so that they aren't forced into a rushed schedule, with every child hustled along the same path at the same rate. Conformity is very hard on the very young (not that it's easy or desirable for anyone).
That said, you can sometimes just say "I'll let you take your time later, when we have time -- right now, we need to get going!" But then, be as good as your word. Young children desperately need this meandering, seemingly aimless time.
For her, the forty-five minutes washing the dishes is her play time! If you are giving her that, you can sort of get her through getting dressed quickly. A balance is what you're aiming for. Keep in mind that she's doing a lot for her age.
From another Mama, and also in answer to Kari: I am not crafty. How can I think up crafts for my toddlers to keep them busy while I do lessons with the other children?
More than cooking up activities for your three-year-old, make him a place to be -- largely unsupervised. Thoughts: A kitchen corner -- which in my lingo is a play kitchen/babydoll care area -- with scope for activities of his own devising, a small table and stools for working with playdough and drawing, a truck pit (not just a sandbox), a little workbench, a place for his army guys or her dolls... a nature table where he can arrange the precious stuff he finds outside.There are many blogs with good ideas for this type of thing, and it's what kept our lives peaceful. Google Montessori at home blogs and sites. Look at Meg McElwee's Sew Liberated and poke around her site for more ideas. It doesn't have to be as fabulous as she makes it look -- it just needs to be what you think of as attractive and what the kids think of as interesting. If you have older children, they will help you and get into it themselves! When Deirdre was thirteen, she was known to play in Bridget's kitchen corner with her own friends.
Just a little effort to give an otherwise demanding tot his own space will give you breathing room all year, whereas coming up with crafts will drive you crazy. At least, coming up with crafts drives me crazy!!
Kari also asked: How do I do lesson plans?
Lesson plans -- it sounds so frighteningly serious and professional. But really, it's a list, and then an expansion of the list. Go to Donna Young's site to see how your plans can be done easily. For a young child, pretty much this is the list:
Reading.
Math.
I think all of this will become clear to you when you do your due diligence. Have you read the Charlotte Mason I recommended? There are summaries of her works on the Ambleside site. [I have been known to say that dear Charlotte is long-winded to no particular purpose. Enjoy her ramblings if you like. The summaries are just fine.]
Also, I highly recommend the book "Better Late Than Early" by Dorothy and Raymond Moore.
I see that it's out of print. Maybe you can get it at the library, or maybe the library has other books by this couple. They have a practical approach that I really like. Maybe newer books have the same material, but I don't know that you would find actual grandparents with lots of experience and wisdom offering their energetic insight the way the Moores do.
Teaching a child to read is fairly easy. I recommend buying the MC Plaid series of workbooks (you can find them on Amazon -- make sure you are getting the old edition, not the new -- I think they are from '95. The new ones are all messed up, trust me). Also Teach your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons -- only, just do the first third of the book, not all of it -- you just need the child to grasp the idea of blending letters together to make words -- and make sure you keep up with the workbooks as well.
Doing lesson plans is simply figuring out what you want to learn in the coming year (based on something sound like the Ambleside site -- only, keep it very, very simple - which that site is not, but you take what you want from it) -- and divide by the number of weeks you will be doing school. Usually the workbooks last a school year.
It's actually all so simple. Don't fret. Look up the links I have on my posts and keep thinking and trying to narrow down what you would want to do with this specific child. Set your goals -- learn to read, do math in her workbook -- and stick to them. Don't get sidetracked by a million ideas. Keep reading and thinking.
Progressive Road to Reading Book 1
Progressive Road to Reading Book 2
Progressive Road to Reading Book 3 (This is the one I had from Grandma's attic, and that I used for my children in about first or second grade -- mostly I read it to them -- we read the selections together. For later stages we used the old Bobs-Merrill Readers I've told you about.)
That's helpful so that you can see why I am trying to get you to buy old readers. I dare you to compare the quality of these readers to anything you would buy today. And notice that the authors of the readers clearly mean you simply to read the selections to the child and discuss them. No tedious work involved.
Seeing them online is helpful to you so that you know what you are getting.
Teaching a child to read is fairly easy. I recommend buying the MC Plaid series of workbooks (you can find them on Amazon -- make sure you are getting the old edition, not the new -- I think they are from '95. The new ones are all messed up, trust me). Also Teach your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons -- only, just do the first third of the book, not all of it -- you just need the child to grasp the idea of blending letters together to make words -- and make sure you keep up with the workbooks as well.
Doing lesson plans is simply figuring out what you want to learn in the coming year (based on something sound like the Ambleside site -- only, keep it very, very simple - which that site is not, but you take what you want from it) -- and divide by the number of weeks you will be doing school. Usually the workbooks last a school year.
It's actually all so simple. Don't fret. Look up the links I have on my posts and keep thinking and trying to narrow down what you would want to do with this specific child. Set your goals -- learn to read, do math in her workbook -- and stick to them. Don't get sidetracked by a million ideas. Keep reading and thinking.
Carrie sent me links to online versions of one of the readers I recommend.
Progressive Road to Reading Book 1
Progressive Road to Reading Book 2
Progressive Road to Reading Book 3 (This is the one I had from Grandma's attic, and that I used for my children in about first or second grade -- mostly I read it to them -- we read the selections together. For later stages we used the old Bobs-Merrill Readers I've told you about.)
That's helpful so that you can see why I am trying to get you to buy old readers. I dare you to compare the quality of these readers to anything you would buy today. And notice that the authors of the readers clearly mean you simply to read the selections to the child and discuss them. No tedious work involved.
Seeing them online is helpful to you so that you know what you are getting.
But remember what I told Carrie:
I think that a reader isn't necessary until the child has been reading for about a year, or until ready to sit and do "real" work -- dictation, copying, such things.
When that happens, it's of the utmost importance that he have an actual book! We aren't just teaching "reading" -- we're teaching veneration for knowledge, respect for the written word, and the ability to sit and turn pages. Online works for a lot of things, but teaching elementary schoolers to read isn't one of them, unless there truly is no other way.
Fortunately, you can get these books for very little money. Especially when compared to curricula that you buy from a company, they are a great bargain! Imagine all your language arts needs met for around $10!
It's almost impossible to say what any child should be doing. (I mean, yes, of course! I have an opinion on everything!!) So much depends on your community, your family, and your child's interests.
I do think that a four-year-old needs much less activity than most people of a certain socio-economic class think. The thing to keep in mind is that while a child that age does enjoy going places and doing things (again, depending; sounds like yours does), what they may not enjoy and what may actually really stress them out is having to do certain things all the time -- sticking to a schedule that includes a lot of car time and structure.
What a boy of four needs is time to run around with his buddies, outdoor time, and physical activity. So if he likes to swim, for instance, you could think about that. What would be ideal would be to know some families with the same ages who are up for playground time three times or so a week, or getting together in someone's big yard for games.
If he has a certain talent, then go with that. Some four-year-olds really can play the violin. Others could care less. I would say that unless there is a clear indication here, it's best to wait until ages six or seven for any kind of formal lesson.
What I try to do when figuring things out like this is think back to the day when there were lots of large families and moms stayed home. When my husband was a child in a fairly upwardly mobile suburb, children didn't even go to kindergarten, really. They stayed home and rode their trikes and bikes on the sidewalk, tried to play sandlot ball with the big kids, and generally just ran around. That is healthiest, as far as I can see -- but it requires other people to do really well.
How can we approximate this scenario? That's our challenge. Take it little by little and try to keep him unscheduled-but-playing-with-other-kids as long as you can! Work hard to make friends with other families who see things the way you do.
The fact is, the education of our children is intimately bound up with our marriage -- specifically, the adventure that is becoming the responsible unit of culture. In other words, as important as the larger community is, as necessary the input of those who love us, as incumbent upon us to listen carefully and understand the advice we are receiving, in the end, only we, the parents, can make the commitment to do what needs to be done. Only we have the grace to do it. Only we are answerable.
Your children are very young. You are right to try to provide for them as best you can, by, for instance, taking the necessary steps to enroll them in the school they would attend if they went -- but things change, circumstances change. It's hard to know exactly what you will be doing 18 months from now [when she has to enroll the elder child in school] -- what the children's needs are, how you will feel about the decisions.
And you are right to take the time now to read up on these issues. How often I wish I could tell parents who are stressing out about their toddlers' educations to read about education now. The best education a toddler can have is to play, to be read and sung to, to be cuddled by parents, to learn to obey, and to start to help with their "work." So simple! It gets very complicated later. NOW is the time for you to be understanding what the child needs in every stage of development. Later you will be too busy, and life will overtake you.
One book I will recommend is John Taylor Gatto's Underground History of American Education -- you can read it online on his site.
I did get it out of the library. The most valuable parts of it are his descriptions of his own childhood.
Of course, I am not familiar with Australian schools. But I do know that it is all too easy to get a little older and revert to the dreamy state of optimism about school, despite occasionally getting a reality check about the social agendas, poor pedagogy, and general atmosphere of somewhat miserable conformity. Along with my universal rule of 80/20, you find that 80% of the children more or less get through, with damage along some sort of scale from not much to sort of a lot but not debilitating. 10% do extremely well. Whether they would have otherwise, or whether the sort of well they do is actually good for them, no one cares to investigate. And probably 10% do extremely poorly.
Grandparents like to suppose that their grandchildren are exceptional and should be given every opportunity. If they are educators, yes, your road is an uphill one. My mother-in-law was opposed to our homeschooling, although she had a pretty iron-clad rule of not interfering. It meant that she just remained completely detached -- other than, ironically, giving me boxes and boxes of those precious old school books that saved my day on many occasions!
From a completely mainstream, developmental point of view, 3 1/2 is objectively too young for school -- other than something like two hours every other day for the kind of pre-school that is just fun (until the winter months when suddenly getting in a snowsuit and into the car is torture). Real school shouldn't start until about age six for girls and seven for boys -- if they are rarin' to go, they will get what they need at home anyway.
If the general environment is one of peacefulness as far as knowing what's for dinner and things being reasonably clean..
I think that a reader isn't necessary until the child has been reading for about a year, or until ready to sit and do "real" work -- dictation, copying, such things.
When that happens, it's of the utmost importance that he have an actual book! We aren't just teaching "reading" -- we're teaching veneration for knowledge, respect for the written word, and the ability to sit and turn pages. Online works for a lot of things, but teaching elementary schoolers to read isn't one of them, unless there truly is no other way.
Fortunately, you can get these books for very little money. Especially when compared to curricula that you buy from a company, they are a great bargain! Imagine all your language arts needs met for around $10!
From Jennifer: Do you have an opinion on how much children should be outside the home on group activities, taking lessons or classes at the preschool age during the average week?
It's almost impossible to say what any child should be doing. (I mean, yes, of course! I have an opinion on everything!!) So much depends on your community, your family, and your child's interests.
I do think that a four-year-old needs much less activity than most people of a certain socio-economic class think. The thing to keep in mind is that while a child that age does enjoy going places and doing things (again, depending; sounds like yours does), what they may not enjoy and what may actually really stress them out is having to do certain things all the time -- sticking to a schedule that includes a lot of car time and structure.
What a boy of four needs is time to run around with his buddies, outdoor time, and physical activity. So if he likes to swim, for instance, you could think about that. What would be ideal would be to know some families with the same ages who are up for playground time three times or so a week, or getting together in someone's big yard for games.
If he has a certain talent, then go with that. Some four-year-olds really can play the violin. Others could care less. I would say that unless there is a clear indication here, it's best to wait until ages six or seven for any kind of formal lesson.
What I try to do when figuring things out like this is think back to the day when there were lots of large families and moms stayed home. When my husband was a child in a fairly upwardly mobile suburb, children didn't even go to kindergarten, really. They stayed home and rode their trikes and bikes on the sidewalk, tried to play sandlot ball with the big kids, and generally just ran around. That is healthiest, as far as I can see -- but it requires other people to do really well.
How can we approximate this scenario? That's our challenge. Take it little by little and try to keep him unscheduled-but-playing-with-other-kids as long as you can! Work hard to make friends with other families who see things the way you do.
Sarah: My parents and my husband's parents are horrified at the mere thought of us homeschooling our children. And three of the four of them were educators. Also, I worry that my son will inherit my husband's severe dyslexia.
The fact is, the education of our children is intimately bound up with our marriage -- specifically, the adventure that is becoming the responsible unit of culture. In other words, as important as the larger community is, as necessary the input of those who love us, as incumbent upon us to listen carefully and understand the advice we are receiving, in the end, only we, the parents, can make the commitment to do what needs to be done. Only we have the grace to do it. Only we are answerable.
Your children are very young. You are right to try to provide for them as best you can, by, for instance, taking the necessary steps to enroll them in the school they would attend if they went -- but things change, circumstances change. It's hard to know exactly what you will be doing 18 months from now [when she has to enroll the elder child in school] -- what the children's needs are, how you will feel about the decisions.
And you are right to take the time now to read up on these issues. How often I wish I could tell parents who are stressing out about their toddlers' educations to read about education now. The best education a toddler can have is to play, to be read and sung to, to be cuddled by parents, to learn to obey, and to start to help with their "work." So simple! It gets very complicated later. NOW is the time for you to be understanding what the child needs in every stage of development. Later you will be too busy, and life will overtake you.
One book I will recommend is John Taylor Gatto's Underground History of American Education -- you can read it online on his site.
I did get it out of the library. The most valuable parts of it are his descriptions of his own childhood.
Of course, I am not familiar with Australian schools. But I do know that it is all too easy to get a little older and revert to the dreamy state of optimism about school, despite occasionally getting a reality check about the social agendas, poor pedagogy, and general atmosphere of somewhat miserable conformity. Along with my universal rule of 80/20, you find that 80% of the children more or less get through, with damage along some sort of scale from not much to sort of a lot but not debilitating. 10% do extremely well. Whether they would have otherwise, or whether the sort of well they do is actually good for them, no one cares to investigate. And probably 10% do extremely poorly.
Grandparents like to suppose that their grandchildren are exceptional and should be given every opportunity. If they are educators, yes, your road is an uphill one. My mother-in-law was opposed to our homeschooling, although she had a pretty iron-clad rule of not interfering. It meant that she just remained completely detached -- other than, ironically, giving me boxes and boxes of those precious old school books that saved my day on many occasions!
From a completely mainstream, developmental point of view, 3 1/2 is objectively too young for school -- other than something like two hours every other day for the kind of pre-school that is just fun (until the winter months when suddenly getting in a snowsuit and into the car is torture). Real school shouldn't start until about age six for girls and seven for boys -- if they are rarin' to go, they will get what they need at home anyway.
All this early schooling is just the nanny state trying to compensate for working mothers -- compensate as far as the children go and also appease, so that she will contribute to GNP as she has been carefully trained to do by her schooling.
For children that young to cope with a school schedule -- including meeting the expectations of people who don't actually really understand them, a significant mechanism has to develop -- an internal one. Just dealing with the smells, the noise, the other children, the coming, the going -- it takes its toll.
For children that young to cope with a school schedule -- including meeting the expectations of people who don't actually really understand them, a significant mechanism has to develop -- an internal one. Just dealing with the smells, the noise, the other children, the coming, the going -- it takes its toll.
I believe that one reason people do not want to have more children is that they find that those years are so stressful, they can't imagine going on with it all. But the stress is simply the children venting their pent-up frustration from being in such an unnatural environment when they are developmentally incapable of processing it. Especially now that children can't be allowed to have unsupervised play, the parents will find that their precious time with them consists of wiping up the messes of their poor psyches.
Anyway, each family has to decide for itself what to do. As I said, you take the experience and the information and you respect it, but ultimately, it's up to you.
I would simply stop talking to them about it if they are so sensitized that even a somewhat neutral topic elicits warnings and alarums [she had brought up my post about the old readers being so much better]. There are other things to discuss.
As to the dyslexia issue, it seems that you have studied this more than I have, but I remain convinced that it is the kind of reading curriculum that the child gets that determines how he will progress. Thus, it is ever more important that the environment be controlled by you, that the method be controlled, and that you are ready to stop bad habits as they appear. Remember, boys usually don't start to read proficiently until they are around eight years old. Before that, a lot of what they are doing could be diagnosed as dyslexia, and perhaps would develop into it if they were pushed or made to feel stupid. A book I highly recommend is "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores. Maybe there are newer books along the lines of what they write about, but theirs is sufficient to help you understand a practical approach to reading, and they are champions of homeschooling and against early formal education.
I believe that attention-deficit children and dyslexic children probably do have predispositions to these issues. But a frantic, overly scheduled, noisy, distracting environment will certainly not help matters. A person only has so much energy to do things. We ask a lot of children in some ways, these days.
Anyway, remember -- it's your call. You and your husband have grace from God to decide what to do. People can give advice, but it's wrong to force you to do otherwise than your conscience tells you! And you have plenty of time to decide (other than the whole signing up thing, oy).
Keep reading and praying! You are doing a great job!
You are right, you are just having the jitters. Of course. It's a huge responsibility. But you will do fine.
Anyway, each family has to decide for itself what to do. As I said, you take the experience and the information and you respect it, but ultimately, it's up to you.
I would simply stop talking to them about it if they are so sensitized that even a somewhat neutral topic elicits warnings and alarums [she had brought up my post about the old readers being so much better]. There are other things to discuss.
As to the dyslexia issue, it seems that you have studied this more than I have, but I remain convinced that it is the kind of reading curriculum that the child gets that determines how he will progress. Thus, it is ever more important that the environment be controlled by you, that the method be controlled, and that you are ready to stop bad habits as they appear. Remember, boys usually don't start to read proficiently until they are around eight years old. Before that, a lot of what they are doing could be diagnosed as dyslexia, and perhaps would develop into it if they were pushed or made to feel stupid. A book I highly recommend is "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores. Maybe there are newer books along the lines of what they write about, but theirs is sufficient to help you understand a practical approach to reading, and they are champions of homeschooling and against early formal education.
I believe that attention-deficit children and dyslexic children probably do have predispositions to these issues. But a frantic, overly scheduled, noisy, distracting environment will certainly not help matters. A person only has so much energy to do things. We ask a lot of children in some ways, these days.
Anyway, remember -- it's your call. You and your husband have grace from God to decide what to do. People can give advice, but it's wrong to force you to do otherwise than your conscience tells you! And you have plenty of time to decide (other than the whole signing up thing, oy).
Keep reading and praying! You are doing a great job!
From Libby: I suddenly lack the confidence to teach my little children. I can't seem to enforce discipline about lessons in the same way I do in other areas. Our approach ( our family's ) is somewhere between Ambleside Online and the Well-Trained Mind. (My dinner menus and laundry are under control, and my house is reasonably clean.)
You are right, you are just having the jitters. Of course. It's a huge responsibility. But you will do fine.
If the general environment is one of peacefulness as far as knowing what's for dinner and things being reasonably clean..
... then more than half my job here is done. :)
I would say that The Well-Trained Mind is a bit of an issue for over-achievers. As far as I'm concerned, Bauer overdoes everything, and I say that as a huge booster of the incredibly packed Ambleside curriculum. WTM sort of keeps all the anxiety-producing parts of school. I think if your child, as a young high schooler, exhibits a strong tendency to be scholarly, then she has some great ideas. But it seems deadly to force every very young child into that mold. I take the WTM with a large dose of salt.
Have you read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores? [See, I have my books that I like and I recommend them.] There may be more recent books that cover the same material, but I like their attitude and their approach very much. They understand big families, they understand what parents should be aiming for with their children, and they get boys. Most boys can decode somewhat at the age of your sons (seven and six), but don't start reading proficiently until they are around eight. The main thing is that there are many things that go into reading, and a lot of them don't have anything to do with schooling per se.
In fact, at that age, school should really take about an hour altogether each day. Possibly an hour and a half. There is not that much to do in the way of formal schooling, other than torture them :)
It's good to know other families, and get together with them once in a while. Best of all is to concentrate on home and all the projects that everyone has, and the playing that everyone has to do. While baby is napping is when the math and reading get done. Let them work on their own as much as possible (did you read the Arthur Robinson articles? He's crazy but he's right).
Just schedule your work time -- right after breakfast chores -- and get it done fast. Bribe them to work quickly. Whatever it takes to do their workbooks or assignments! Try separating them. Punish complaining instantly -- first read the riot act before they even get started to put them on their guard, and then pounce. It's a habit to complain! Only instant feedback will break the habit. Get them into the habit of working as fast as they can with accuracy, and as much as possible without you.
Then go on to other things (all the fun and sneakily educational things that you mention, like gardening, music, camping, reading out loud, and whatever everyone enjoys).
You are right -- school really can't begin until they can read. So just wait on those other things. It will be so much easier after!
Does this cover the main questions about starting homeschooling? Let me know.
I would say that The Well-Trained Mind is a bit of an issue for over-achievers. As far as I'm concerned, Bauer overdoes everything, and I say that as a huge booster of the incredibly packed Ambleside curriculum. WTM sort of keeps all the anxiety-producing parts of school. I think if your child, as a young high schooler, exhibits a strong tendency to be scholarly, then she has some great ideas. But it seems deadly to force every very young child into that mold. I take the WTM with a large dose of salt.
Have you read "Better Late Than Early" by the Moores? [See, I have my books that I like and I recommend them.] There may be more recent books that cover the same material, but I like their attitude and their approach very much. They understand big families, they understand what parents should be aiming for with their children, and they get boys. Most boys can decode somewhat at the age of your sons (seven and six), but don't start reading proficiently until they are around eight. The main thing is that there are many things that go into reading, and a lot of them don't have anything to do with schooling per se.
In fact, at that age, school should really take about an hour altogether each day. Possibly an hour and a half. There is not that much to do in the way of formal schooling, other than torture them :)
It's good to know other families, and get together with them once in a while. Best of all is to concentrate on home and all the projects that everyone has, and the playing that everyone has to do. While baby is napping is when the math and reading get done. Let them work on their own as much as possible (did you read the Arthur Robinson articles? He's crazy but he's right).
Just schedule your work time -- right after breakfast chores -- and get it done fast. Bribe them to work quickly. Whatever it takes to do their workbooks or assignments! Try separating them. Punish complaining instantly -- first read the riot act before they even get started to put them on their guard, and then pounce. It's a habit to complain! Only instant feedback will break the habit. Get them into the habit of working as fast as they can with accuracy, and as much as possible without you.
Then go on to other things (all the fun and sneakily educational things that you mention, like gardening, music, camping, reading out loud, and whatever everyone enjoys).
You are right -- school really can't begin until they can read. So just wait on those other things. It will be so much easier after!
Does this cover the main questions about starting homeschooling? Let me know.
Next time, writing anxieties and then, high school.
